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Monday, 28 July 2008

Hello World

Sunday, 20 July 2003

Dear Mr Ramen,
At what point in a relationship do you decide to give up or go on? i have dated this one guy on and off for about 4 1/2 years. 9 months ago, we broke up (at his wishes) to see other people. We decided to keep a "friends with benefits" thing going with the rule that we must be brutally honest about our other relationships to each other.
So 9 months have passed, and we are still exclusive, yet labeled as single, and we have probably the best relationship ever; but he still doesn't want to go back to being exclusive, which is okay with me, I just get confused. He gets jealous and protective every time I even mention meeting a new guy, and he always wants to hang out, even if it's really just as friends.
I love doing stuff with him, he's my best friend, but I encourage him to have other relationships and have even suggested how to approach certain girls he likes. He's great and I'd hate to lose him as a friend or more. Do I keep going (potentially for years) with this sort of relationship, or would it be best to change this something in this set up? In short, do I give it up or go on with it?

-Frustrated Friend with Benefits

Dear F.F.W.B.,
Although Mr Ramen feels your pain (as he feels everyone's relationship pain) he has no nurturing advice for you. "Friends with benefits", F.F.W.B.? Are you really going to tell Mr Ramen that this is anything other than BOTH of you getting your jollies while not making an actual commitment?

F.F.W.B., you don't fool Mr Ramen. You tell him that you're OK with the current arrangement and this gentleman's companionship is important to you because he's your Friend. That's a crock of slightly spoiled jam, F.F.W.B. You want this beau to come to his senses and declare his undying love for you so you can go about the business of being Happy Ever After. You're each using each other and are afraid of what to do next. If you want a f***buddy, keep seeing this guy. If you want to be an adult and have a relationship, dump him WITHOUT benefits.

- Mr Ramen
Dear Mr Ramen,
I am in a dilemma, Is there a good way to dump the girlfriend and get the best friend with out gun shot wounds or stabbings? Other interesting circumstances are: We as a group have had a Threesome before so does that help or hinder my mission. Inquisitively,
The Guy with too many girls

Dear T.G.W.T.M.G.,
Are you kidding me with this crap? The only thing that will help your mission is if one or both of these damsels is as dumb as a bag of hair. Good luck.

Friday, 18 July 2003

Dear Mr Ramen,
I am an in-closet bisexual. I just checked into this new apartment building and this other man started showing an interest in me (or I think he did). We are really great friends and I don't want to ask if he wants to hook up if he isn't interested.
I've just been picking up on these things like a slight brush on my arms and back every once in a while. He seems really uncomfortable around porn too. We were playing games online and a straight porn ad popped up. He flipped it off very fast. I just don't know what to do. I have never been with a man before.
- Ready To Be Picked

Dear R.T.B.P.,
Mr Ramen has great news for you! The answer to your dilemma is actually really EASY! OK, just kidding. Mr Ramen knows that you would never expect an easy answer from him, so here goes.
Even though you're just discovering this budding new attraction to your own gender, that doesn't mean that you don't have some inkling of that most wonderful of gay traits?gay-dar. Basically, R.T.B.P., if you think this gentleman is flirting with you, there is a pretty good chance that he is! So, that's the easy part! Here's the hard part:
He may be unsure of your attraction, or he may not be sure of his own, or even worse…he may be the elusive and treacherous Equal Opportunity Flirt. Beware if this is the case, R.T.B.P. because the Equal Opportunity Flirt makes both men and women want him, and often wants nothing more than that from EITHER of them.
There is no easy way here, R.T.B.P., so here's my recommendation. It will take much subtlety, but you need to make some overtly flirty gesture that will not be mistaken if he IS interested, but can be laughed off if he isn't.
By the way, R.T.B.P., I have two random observations: for a newbie to bisexual land, the term "hook up" rolls off your keyboard pretty easily. Hmmm…what's that about? Secondly, Mr Ramen knows NO gay men who are creeped out by straight porn, so don't rely on that test. Good luck and Happy Pride, R.T.B.P.

- Mr Ramen

A thought about the simple things:

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?